49. I Just Want To Be Perfect - Naomi Pike
May 18, 2022
Mentioned in this episode -
2 Corinthians 12:9
Laura: Hi, Naomi, and welcome to unsung stories. Thank you so much for joining us.
Naomi: You're welcome. It's great to be here
Laura: just so that our listeners can get to know you a little bit more. Could you tell us a bit about you and your family life and just what everyday life looks like?
Naomi: absolutely. So I'm married to Anthony and we have three children. They're five, three and one. A girl and two boys. I spend my days at home with the kids at the moment. I try to keep things organized and caring for the kids and their needs. My daughter just started school this year. So getting to the school routine yet it's feels like a big change.
Laura: It's a big adjustment for the whole family.
Naomi: Isn't it really is. , because it's changed the way we do our days, .
Laura: Making that baby up at that second nap is always right. Yes,
Naomi: absolutely. I'm also leading a wonderful team to start up a play group at church in term two, which is not far away. And when I get little bits of time, I'm working on what I called joyful nourishment. And it's an evolving project, combining my passions around helping people have a healthy relationship with their bodies and food. So I guess I have a dietician background. So using those skills. ,
Laura: that's really cool. That all sounds great. And what church do you go to?
Naomi: We live in Sydney and we go to Grace West Anglican church in Silverdale. We've been attending there since December last year. Grace West Anglican church encompasses two parishes that joined together a few years ago.
So that's Glenmore Park and Mulgoa Anglican churches and Glenmore park is where my husband and I were going. We decided to put up our hand a few years ago to help start up a church in Silverdale with the people of Boulder. That's really cool. . So the people who have more go, I have been praying and saving money to . Buy land and build a church so that they could grow family-wise cause they're all older. And they really wanted to, invest in the future of church and encourage young families to come along. So
Laura: beautiful. It really. I'd imagine it would be very easy to be set in your way. So particularly if you're at an older church, this is how we've done church forever, and we've got our friends and we're really comfortable, but how beautiful that, that church was. On mission and wanted to, recognize that we need to have young families. And just even that diversity of church family, I think that's so beautiful.
Naomi: . . It is really beautiful. And they're just, , they're a lovely bunch of people and being so encouraged by them. So
Laura: I love that. So three kids pandemic, new church now adjusting to being a school. Mom. That's a lot, lots going on in five years. How has it been for you?
Naomi: , it actually has been a lot. There's been a lot of change, going on in our family over the last six years. And it's also included loss as well. I lost an uncle in 2016 and then just in the two years of the pandemic, I lost three of migrants. And just before the massive lockdown, so thankful that we got to celebrate them without restrictions,
Laura: but even just watching the ongoing grief ripple through your family and watching your parents grave their parents and their brother oh, that's really hard.
Naomi: . . It's definitely been a struggle. , but we're we getting through it? And I'm a perfectionist as well, and I've always been like. And so in everything I do, I default to making sure it's done to high standards and perfectly, which means I strive to be on top of everything and have every component of my life done well.
So there's little room for falling short. So that's quite exhausting. That is, . So perfectionist measure things in what we do. And there's a constant struggle with the thinking of never doing enough being good enough or not doing things the right way. I've seen this play out in my life in little ways, like things that crop up in parenting but also in big ways as well.
So in my teens to mid twenties, I battled with an eating disorder. And perfection was a huge driver, and I often didn't feel good enough and was bullied at school. I never felt good enough for my peers. I think that also the striving to, to be good enough for my friends and peers and the drive to have the perfect body and be a certain way to feel.
But then also starving myself was also a way to punish myself for not being good enough or perfect enough. So it was like a double-edged sword. That's really hard. .
Laura: . Thank you for sharing that. I think that perfectionist tendency that you're talking about also plays out a lot in motherhood. So that it may not be through an eating disorder, but I wonder how is that playing out for you in this season of life?
Naomi: I noticed it in a number of different ways, but I think the main ones would be that it causes me to constantly look for a benchmark to perform too. I'm looking at other women I'm reading books, blogs, or listening to podcasts to try and figure out how to be a great parent. Part of that is not wanting my kids to experience the things that I struggled with. I want to have all the right tools to make sure I don't inflict pain on them.
That rule perfectionist to get it right. But I think the big one is how I'm wanting to be remembered by my kids as well. I want to have a great relationship with them and I want them to know them always here for them. I want to make sure I do it right.
Laura: . Everything that you're saying is just not uncommon in motherhood. And most of us had we trying so hard to be perfect because we do love them so much. And like you said, we don't really want them to go through the hard things that we went through, if you can avoid them. We want what's best for them and we want to be the best for them. And I'm pretty sure this desire to be perfect plays out in a bunch of different ways.
You mentioned that you were looking at other women and seeing what they're doing, what are you noticing about yourself in those moments? What's happening in your heart?
Naomi: I often look at other mums and how they talk to their kids or dealing with behavior. And think that's the way to do it. So if she's doing it that way, so should I like that's the right way? That's the best way. Or even when other moms are telling you the things they do with their kids or what they did as a family or how they are teaching them the Bible I can often think how can we struggle to do that? Or we must be lucky in something in our marriage or our parenting, because we don't have those fun adventures or we just continue to fail or struggle.
And struggled to do family devotions and fit it all in. And , I think also when I'm complimented, like sometimes you might, oh, that was really lovely. The way you spoke to a child or something like that. I easily deflect it. I just point out all my failings from yesterday or what happened a couple of hours beforehand. So I also, , try and put it to the side as nothing.
Laura: Don't we feel like we just see such a snippet of people's lives and assume that's the whole, and maybe that's like the social media thing that we're used to one minute in a story or that sort of thing. But I do the same thing.
Like someone will compliment me and it's oh, but if you knew that. But I will not be as like, I will be more gracious to other people being she's just perfect all the time. She would never yell at her kids or she would never stuff up in the way I stuffed up. I'm not even in comparing apples to apples.
Naomi: . . And easy to compare lacks sometimes, I have friends. Have kids that are older. And so like they're in a slightly different stage of life. So even remembering that oh, they've probably been where I've been when their kids were my age, but they can do different things because their kids are older. Does that make sense? The
Laura: Shaw and even what they're doing might look really good, and I probably admire that, but it might not actually even work for my family. So I noticed this coming out, we went to. Someone's house for a play and off their kitchen. They had this massive play toy area and it was packed full of toys.
And my kids went nuts and I remember walking away from them. I need to bring all the toys up and I'll turn that living space into a toy area for them. I'm like, what am I doing? This is not going to work for our family. We have all of our toys downstairs and a few toys in their rooms for a reason because that's what works really well for us in this.
But because she had her toys like that, I instantly assumed my toys must be like that. My kids don't play well with a huge amount of toys. All in one space actually play much better if I just have one toy at a time, but it's just that I constantly compare myself to other people and assume I need to be doing exactly what they're doing to be doing a good job.
Naomi: . . It's . I totally hear you in that. . And it often I know for me, my heart often feels inadequate, but I also know that it's envy in others. And sometimes I say there's probably some jealousy there too, which you don't want to have to admit those things, but yes.
Laura: But you're not alone in that all the envy and jealousy and that sort of thing. And I'm wondering, what do you do with it though? So in those moments, when you're noticing those things, what truth are you reminding yourself
Naomi: of? . So I guess I often find it's easy to like, ruminate on these things and tell myself lies repeatedly in my head. For example I can be tempted to believe she's so much more godly in her parenting than me or she's so patient and calm and playful for her, with her kids.
And I'm not thing. But the truth is as you were saying before, like I'm probably only seeing a snippet of the whole picture for this mum and she probably struggles too. And I guess I'm different to her and my kids are different. And so how we do things will look different. And that's exactly what you were saying before.
There's no one right way. I could also look at it as I really like how she used that tool to help that situation. And maybe we could try that at home. I can be tempted to believe that I have it all together, how they do life as a family is so much more fun and adventurous.
But the truth is we have different families. We don't need to be the same and we have different interests. Or our kids have different interests. So we have fun and adventure in other ways. We have very creative people. And my kids are creative. Like they would much rather stay in doors and draw.
I guess like reminding myself of that doesn't mean that way bad. It's just that we enjoy different things where some people enjoy going out for Bush walks and adventure, but that's not our thing, but that doesn't mean we're doing it wrong, if that makes sense. . I'm tempted to believe that they house is always so clean and tidy and organized.
And I'm not a good housewife because I can't keep up with all the things like houses, always shambles. It feels but I guess the truth is I'm doing the best that I can to keep on top of all the jobs and care for my children. And my kids are younger than their kids. I think, as I was saying before, I think I can compare.
With different life stages. And sometimes like I need to remember that they have different help to me. Like they have their mum come and help them twice a week, so they didn't do it on their own. That's not a bad thing, but just there's reasons why it looks the way it does.
And , they were able to get help for that. And that might not be something that I have that week or in that stage or whatever. And I guess even just to remind myself that we have our incapacity as well. And mine is limited at the moment because I'm up all night with a, a crying baby and that's okay. And remembering that my house doesn't reflect my worth or my abilities Ohio, I am like reflects .
Laura: Your identity. That was all really helpful. And I think I just, maybe it's just a stick in my head lately, but I keep feeling like social media is fueling all of those things.
We constantly do that comparison and that's the easiest way that we are comparing. Let's wait until that we'll see her clean kitchen, a playroom or something like that. But I think most important from what I took home from what you just said is that my mum should be coming over twice a week to help clean my house.
So if you listening to that, if you could just schedule that in, that'd be really great, but no, that really wasn't helpful. And I really liked what you're doing about reframing there. I'm tempted to believe and what is the truth. And I think that's a really helpful. We can all start taking into, when we're feeling our big emotions or, those heart things creeping in, or that panic of why I need to change things, but to go, wait, what am I attempted to believe here?
What is the truth? I really liked that. So you mentioned at the beginning, how you're working so hard to be the perfect mom, and one of those ways is scouring resources and books to figure out how to be the best parent. What's going on there for you?
Naomi: I guess it's not even just, being the best parent, but how to pair it.
Naomi: I know, it's easy to think that parenting will come naturally and you just know how to deal with each situation, but it actually does it. What I'm learning is that parent. Is a lifelong journey and that as our kids change and develop, there is always a new stage to navigate.
So we're going to have to learn more things. So I guess it's . Always feeling that need to have the tools and tricks to navigate those stages. And I think that's, , I'm always trying to make sure I'm one step ahead,
Laura: I'm also thinking, as you're saying that what we were just talking about. Looking at other women and comparing ourselves to her. And she's just seems to be so good, but maybe she's doing really good because she's really suited to that stage of life at a few years down the track it might shift.
Naomi: . . . Because we
Laura: all are different, have different skill sets that we bring to different ages.
Naomi: . . And you just reminded me of a friend that's actually said to me I feel like I was a better parent when they were like, babies and toddlers and stuff, but now that they are getting bigger, I'm finding it really challenging.
Laura: I look at the first year of life. I can deal with the sleep deprivation. I find it so easy because they don't need me that much, or at least emotionally, now that I have an 18 or nearly to the 18 month old. Oh, I find it hard and I'm not suited from 18 months to four. Not my. So
Naomi: hi, and at least you can acknowledge
Laura: that, right? It's taken me to the fourth child to realize it's just not my skillset.
Naomi: But I'm sure God will use you as they get older.
Naomi: I know he will so I'm planning through these different challenges and stages. It's often where I'm finding the sin in my life. Bain highlighted and also struggling, with that, that I did see crisis that can come with motherhood and the changes that you experienced. I found that really challenging.
Laura: I guess you do have that identity crisis with each stage as they're different, you're going through different things. You're then having to evaluate yourself. And what were your. Placing your identity and your worth, that sort of thing that you didn't realize having to realize that you're not who you thought you were, you don't parent the way, all of those things. You have that crisis each time they're in that new state.
Naomi: , that's true. Actually, even though I haven't done very many stages, but I think even just noticing that as my daughter goes to school. . I guess I'm reminded that three parenting and eight stage of life that God is teaching us in all of it as well. There are teaching moments all the time from God. That's really helpful to remember,
Laura: and there's a lot to wrestle with that. And so I liked for E how you're talking before, what are those lies that you're tempted to believe during that time? And then what do you do with them?
Naomi: So I guess, , one of them is like that. I need to be perfect before I pair it. I need to have it. I need to be refined and I need to have it all together. . But I guess remembering that actually like Jesus is the only perfect person and in our humanness, we are unable to be perfect. As I was saying before, God uses parenting to teach us to change our same mold us.
It's how we learn to be a parent. God is teaching us to parent as we do it. I guess another lie that I'm tempted to believe that as a mom, my job is to be able to do all of it on my own. I need to remind myself, I actually can't do it all in my grade. I need help, which is really.
HOD, hopefully that pride, right? I'm like, I need God and I need to rely on his strength and not my own. I actually can't do this on my own.
Laura: Particularly if you are a high achiever, perfectionist, that sort of thing. When you usually can do it on your own to be faced with something that I really can't do this.
Naomi: Very humbling. It really is. , absolutely. Another thing that I'm tempted to believe is that my worth as a person and identity is wrapped up in how I parent and it gets how my kids are and how they turn out. My kids are a reflection of my parenting. But I guess I need to remember that lack.
Actually I am a child of God, like my identity and with is simply that. And I need to remember that. , I need to remember what I'm called to as a Christian. Another one is to be good enough and worthy. Like you need to take all the books as all the time. And I need to be perfect.
But I guess I'm trying to remember that in making mistakes in the stuffing up there is grace on offer. And I'm. Failure. That's really hard one that I like yet. So these are all things that I still struggle with, but these are ways that I'm trying to, train myself to think in a different way.
The other one is like the will tells us that you've got this. But I've been really reminded lately that actually, no, you're like God has got us. And he is the one that is in control and he will get us Through the day. ,
Laura: that's beautiful.
Naomi: . . Recently I was attending this online Facebook party for jewelry. The lady actually hands down. Like letters on that engraving, hint. . I was like, oh, should I get it? Should I not? I was thinking, what would I write on there? What would I put on there? And I was like, God has got this. I think I just was like, I need something that I can have with me to remind me that, God's the one that's got this slack, and , so I've recently got that and I wear it each day and it's just a helpful reminder for me that, , I am not doing this alone and that God is in control and he's got the situation at hand.
Laura: , that's great. What a great practical. Reorientating reminder.
Naomi: . . Cause I guess when you're wearing a necklace too, it's there and you just yet easy to .
Laura: Tangible as you grabbing it to distinct. And what a little way that you can just reorientate yourself back to Jesus. But that's what I like with you. Didn't what you did in all of that. You are just doing this constant reorientating back to him, that reframe of what does God think in this? Or what does the Bible say?
Because it's so easy to believe the lie that creeps in. And I think it's just also another reason why we need to constantly be in the word constantly hearing from God and what he wants from us. Hear what he says about what perfection is and looks like, because it's not what we think it is.
Naomi: . Yes, absolutely. Cause the answer is actually Jesus the only perfect one. But yet we fall into the trap of thinking that we can be. I say so much of the perfection tendencies playing out when I'm desiring something from my parenting. So that is like my kids remembering me a certain way or knowing things about me and that desiring a healthy connection with my kids and really wanting them to know that mum is always available for them and that I will always be here for them and they can come to me for help. I don't want them to think that other things are more important than them. And I feel that they. I think other things are a priority. One of the ways that I see this played out is at dinner time, I want to do everything so perfectly.
So that I'm engaging with them, but I'm trying to quit Dina. I'm trying to help one with homework. Another one wants a cuddle. Another one wants to play, the washing machines going off my husband's texting to see if we need anything from the shops on the way home. And it just feels sorry much.
And I'm trying to do it all to keep everyone happy. But then the anxiety builds up and I just snap. I don't know if you've had one of those moments, but , you just snap and it's because I can't do everything for everyone.
Laura: And it's nearly like the exact thing that you're wanting to achieve. You become so anxious and worked up that you defeat the game. You'll do the exact opposite
Naomi: yes. Yes. . And I think that's what the hard thing is that you do the complete opposite to what you to. But I guess it's actually humbling to be reminded that I can't do it all and that what I really need is a savior and that savior is Jesus. I guess I'm in the early stages of doing this. But I'm trying to learn to invite the kids in on my failures. So I guess to model to them that it's okay to get it wrong to stuff up and that we can work through those moments.
And that is grace to be found and refining to be done as we've learned. And so I guess to remind them that these moments don't define. . And what I find, so I Wernicke, which I think we mentioned before is sometimes that in my desire to be perfect, I actually do the complete opposite and it's then that I'm not good enough. So I try harder. So it could just be like this crazy cycle.
Laura: , so relatable and so humbling. So when this is happening, what truths do you come back to? So what are you learning about in these moments? And is there anything that helps you reframe when you're noticing these things?
Naomi: I'm learning to just come back to the truth that God doesn't ask me to be perfect. He asked me to turn to him, to ask for his. And to practice living his way and when I get it wrong to keep trying. But in that process, like this full of grace and I'm his child and he delights in me as I am. Depending on the situation, there are a few things I do to reframe. So when things really feel out of control and I can just feel my desire to get an old pair.
Is actually causing me to do the opposite. I feel like I just need to change the background noise. And so what I do is I put on some Christian music. So I have a few playlist with songs that remind me of God's grace and his love for me. And I think it just helps to change the tone. And the words helped me to remember.
I also have some key Bible verses in each room with the house, which can help me reframe. So I guess I am a very visual person. One in particular that is always a favorite and I think it was a favorite even through like my eating disorder, but it's from Nehemiah and it's the joy of the Lord is my strength.
And just that reminder that the joy of knowing God and having him in my life is a strength that I control. Sometimes just a simple error prayer like just Lord help me you know that I'm gonna lose it. Help me. .
Laura: I find it helpful also to know, like you do get to know yourself. So when are those times that I am doing the opposite of what I've set out to do? So I'm the same or more at the beginning of the day. Is my tension point of getting out the door. And so what can I do to relieve that tension point? Because there are things like, I do have to cook dinner. We do have to get out the door.
I can't just stop and play blocks with you because you want to play. But I've been finding. At nighttime and it feels like such a sacrifice because I'm so tired at the end of the day. But making school lunches saves me so much time the next morning, getting my clothes out, getting the kids' clothes out, all of these things to just ease those tension points.
And that's hard as we're talking about wanting to have things perfect and nail the perfect routine so that, there's a tension there. But I still think. As you move on and get to know yourself, you can do things to alleviate your pain points. Absolutely certain kids' behaviors really trigger something in me.
So I think even going to therapy and realizing that I have these triggers. And learning skills to calm down through it. But with that comes the, okay, this is what's going on. That for me, this is what's going on for them. If I have this repertoire in my brain that I can just draw on to just say, okay, this is what's happening.
And I just say these one line is, and I don't know. Let me think what is, oh, that's not fair is really triggering for me. So to just be like, I understand that it doesn't feel. Yes. I think you're actually more disappointed because you don't like the choice that I'm making big feelings are hard.
The good news, like just, I just have those one liners because I know that it's triggering something in me. I don't even really have time to deal with it, but I just roll through the, what is supposed to say in those moments to not explode. I don't know. I've just been finding the more I can.
Troubleshoot my own I guess in four responses as well. It can help.
Naomi: . And it's interesting you say about triggers because I find, I think that's something that I am learning actually is there are just certain things that my kids do that really trigger me. Like. Why does it trigger me? And so I think you just even prompted me Lac to be like, , I really probably think about that a little bit more because you're right.
They sometimes part of what causes that unraveling. And I guess another way that God's, teaching us about ourselves,
Laura: and also what is the heart behind it? So when we do have this perfectionism or wanting to be seen as whatever So for me getting out the door as, I don't want to be that hot mess, pulling up light, seeing what, which is my natural default.
Just fearing what people are going to think. Oh, she's not on top of it kind of mom. So then I do lose it. But when I can actually go, we are just having one of those mornings. It doesn't matter what people think. If I do rock up late or if my hair's not done or whatever, we just have to get through this morning.
Get out the door and do it with loving kindness and respect of each other. But when I can put aside my feelings of people not judging me, then I can focus and just do the job. I don't know. No.
Naomi: you've definitely touched on some things there for me.
Laura: Great conversation. Perfectionists solidarity, my friends. So I love all of these examples that we've been talking about and what you've shared. I'm wondering where we, where you land on all of it with your thoughts though. So what do we need to know? Or remember when it comes to our wrestle with wanting to be perfect.
Naomi: I think this can be uncomfortable for us to think about in our own pride and humanness. And I know certainly makes me feel uncomfortable and challenged. I've just been reflecting on how our desire to be perfect is in some ways our reflection of wanting to be our own God and to even try and take the place of Jesus in our lives and how.
Perfection. It can also be an idol in our lives. So it's often can be a huge distraction to what God has called us to do? I know as a perfectionist, I can invest a lot of time on something trying to get it just right. But really when it comes to and what God has called me to do and be as a Christian.
It's not really that important and it's just a distraction to doing God's work. Like easily, I could be reading my Bible. But instead making sure that I've, cleaned every inch of the kitchen or, . Or I think it can affect my choices sometimes if that makes right.
I choose to do. That, because I want it to be perfect rather than maybe doing something that God wants me to do. But I guess also in saying that I know sometimes my desire to be perfect comes from just wanting to honor God the best I can as well. I love God and I want to do it right.
So I can get myself worked up about whether I'm doing the right thing as a Christian.
Laura: And sometimes it can look like you don't put your hand up to serve because I don't know, you're not running the team or you're not doing this amazing thing, but, just even going and doing kids on the kids' roster every few weeks, or you know, just cooking a meal for someone, you don't have to be the person that runs the meal roster and the meal plan and blah, blah, blah.
Keep it simple and do what you can, even though it might not be what you know, you can do, but because of the season that we're in and being limited by our capacity, but then not resting in that, like this tension of
Naomi: It can be really challenging. I think. It's, I don't think it's something that like we should feel shame or guilt about, but I guess rather reminder that we don't need to be perfect because God has given us. And also it's okay to struggle. And in fact, I actually sometimes think God expects that we will fail that we will have moments where we give into our sin, but he just wants us to keep turning back to him in it all and allow him to change that. . So I think if we've got that right. Heart of turning back to him and . Asking for his help for us to change I guess that's one of the most important things.
Laura: Having that humble heart posture. How would you encourage the mama? Who's listening to this who is just trying so hard to be perfect and feels like she has to be, what truth would you remind her? Her.
Naomi: Firstly, I guess I want to remind you that you are not alone in struggling with the desire and striving to be perfect. And I guess we can start easily feel alone and think we must be the only ones struggling, but I guess the more I talked to other moms and we actually really be vulnerable with each other.
We find that it is actually more of a struggle for others than we've realized. And I guess also sharing and talking about these things is really helpful as you went through it. So I really wanna encourage you. If you feel brave sharing your struggles with other moms that you trust cause I think just sharing can really help take some of the burden of the weight that striving perfection bears down on you.
And you also often find that other people are struggling with similar things. Secondly, I want to remind you that because of Jay-Z's, we actually don't need to be perfect and we don't have to be a mom or a parent on our own or in our own strength. God has so much grace and love for us, and he just wants us to keep running to him, drawing need to him and asking for his help in all ways.
So run to God in your moments of struggling with perfectionism or when you start to beat yourself up, remember his grace and give grace to yourself. And in each moment you don't meet your standards. There is opportunity for us to grow closer to God and for our hearts to be refined and to be made more like Jesus, which is such a beautiful thing to strive for.
And far better than being the perfect parent because it has eternal value. And I guess as I say, all of this, I'm reminded that I need to hear these things daily too. And I have certainly not fully grasped all of the above lack. I'm . This message has just as much for me.
Laura: that's beautiful.
Naomi: If I could just encourage you with this first now. It's from two Corinthians chapter 12, verse nine and it says, but he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you.
For my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Laura: That's beautiful. Thank you so much, Naomi, for coming on and sharing part of your story with us and encouraging us today. I really loved how you were. I do that reframe or that pivot in your thinking.
So analyzing what's going on and thinking through what's the lie, what's the truth. What can I change here? And just that constant reminder that there is grace on offer. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. Failure is part of the process and he expects that. So I'm just really thankful for. That real reminder today.
I'm just wondering if you would mind finishing up the show by praying for the mums who are listening especially for the ones who's wrestling with similar perfectionist struggles as you are.
Naomi: I would love to think. And do you have. Thank you that, each of us so deeply and intimately, and that through Jesus, you have showered on us in abundance of grace and mercy.
Our thoughts, our fears and struggles that we have been striving for with perfection and, before we do, and I pray that as we struggle with the weight of perfection, that you will help us to run to you to turn to you moment by. May you remind us that your grace is sufficient for us, that you don't ask for perfection, but a heart that trusts you relies on you and desires to fully your ways and into repentance when we get it wrong.
Thank you for Jesus, for your grace and for beta God that has got this for us. And I pray all these things in your precious name