Laura

So, Jani, welcome to Unsung Stories. Thank you so much for joining us.

 

Jani

My pleasure.

 

Laura

Just so that our listeners can get to know you a little bit more, could you tell us a bit about yourself and what your family life looks like?

 

Jani

So my name is Jani and I'm married to Kurtis. We have a two-and-a-half-year-old boy, James, and a six-month-old Harvey. And so we are very much in the thick of the little years at the moment.

 

Laura

So motherhood is a bit of a juggling act. Could you share how you prioritize your relationship with God during this season?

 

Jani

Yeah, I know I prioritize it. I think this is one that I am finding very hard, particularly now having two kids, I think I found I feel like I was finding my rhythm with James when, like towards the end of my pregnancy with the second and then I feel like everything just got turned upside down and I think I'm [inaudible 00:01:04] much trying to find a groove as far as things like personal Bible reading being consistent. Reading the Bible with the boys when every day is just so unpredictable and different like, I think we're still trying to find a routine in that way.

But I think as far as trying to prioritize things, we very much try and make things like going to church and Bible study. You know, where the kids are seeing us gather with God's people, a priority so that they see this is what we do, we meet with other people who love the Lord so that it becomes very much just a part of our natural weekly rhythm.

 

I think I try and prioritize my relationship with God by just in the way that I like, go about my conversations with my boys, particularly like my eldest.

 

Jani

I think I just try and like incorporate it into my language. That is, you know, trying to model patience and grace and forgiveness and instruction and trying to explain our decisions and why we do the things that we do and why we care about the things that we care about and how that lines up with God's word. I think I just try to prioritize my relationship with God by just trying to model it to my children and our day-to-day conversation.

 

Laura

Yeah, so it's not necessarily all head knowledge, but it's living out what it means to be a Christian and inviting your boys in on that person.

 

Jani

Yeah.

Yeah. So that it's just hopefully just the organic part of

 

Laura

Who we are,

 

Jani

Who we are and how we go about our days and trying to model them you know how the gospel applies to everyday moments, everyday situations and. Yeah, I think I try to prioritize it in that way.

 

Laura

Living fully as a Jesus follower,

 

Jani

Yeah,

 

Laura

Not just someone who ticks the boxes, I read my Bible, I go to church, but really someone whose life has been changed by the good news of Jesus.

 

Jani

Yeah.

 

Laura

How do you feel like your relationship with God has changed since you became a mum? What was it like before you had kids? And what's it like now?

 

Jani

I think before I was a Christian, not before I was a Christian, before I was a mum, I very much trusted Jesus. I loved the Lord. I loved the Gospel. But I think being a mama, I feel my sin so much more deeply. And I see it so much more clearly than ever before.

 

I rely on forgiveness so much more than ever before. I don't like I'm constantly just baffled by, I just don't know how anyone gets through the day. You have a mum without the good news of Jesus being, like, forgiving you.

 

I don't know how I would ever cope with the guilt that I often feel I don't know where I would find wisdom in how to raise kids if it were not for the gospel and if it were not for the relationship with the Lord and having Him give me instruction.

 

I just feel like I'd be so lost as a mumma now if it were not for that. And so I think I very much feel, yeah. Very much feel my dependence on God. So much more now, now as a mum compared to what I did before,

 

Laura

Yeah, that's completely relatable.

Have you found a helpful way for you to read the Bible?

 

Jani

I think my Bible reading and what I found helpful has very much changed depending on the season of life that I've been in. I think currently, I'm still very much struggling to find the Bible reading rhythm with a six-month-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old. And so I think previously I've found, you know, things like daily reading notes that our church provides us really helpful, you know, the kind of like Bible [inaudible 00:05:36] the devotionals or whatever they're called found helpful in the past.

 

But to be honest, I think at the moment I feel like I'm just lucky if I get a minute to read the Bible in the day. And my current game plan, which is working for now because it's kind of more achievable for me, is I usually just ask myself, what does this say about God? What does it say about humans? And knowing what this has is saying about God and humans, how does that inform or change my life?

 

Now I'm. And that's pretty that's kind of the most that I get through, to be honest.

 

So what has been a struggle in you spending time with God?

 

Laura

Obviously, you've got two little children,

 

Jani

I think, aside from little people demanding my attention. I think what makes me struggle is just my whole discipline in being organized to figure out when in my day will I most likely be able to sit down and read the Bible and definitely guilty of prioritizing other, less meaningful things like mindlessly scrolling social media or something. So I think my just my poor discipline a lot of the time. I think things like praying and things like singing come it comes more naturally and I think it kind of incorporates into my day a little bit more, not organically and a bit easier.

 

And so I think I find prioritizing reading the Bible a lot harder because it takes a lot more conscious effort and time to sit down and read it and to comprehend and think it through.

 

Laura

Why do you find it so important to sit down and read the Bible?

 

Jani

Because I know that that's the way God talks to me and is instructing me. And I think I just find it the hardest to prioritize and I value it so much I do just find it hard to sit down because it takes more conscious effort and time, I think. It doesn't come as organically in the day and I'm also just not a reader. I find reading really hard. But every time I do sit down and I read it, I never regret it. I always walk away so refreshed.

 

Yet I just always find it so hard to you know sit

 

Laura

To sit down

 

Jani

And do it. But I know is going to be so, soul-refreshing for me. 

 

Laura

Hmm. What has been something that has really grown you as a Christian through motherhood?

 

Jani

I think so, I think surrounding me with other mums who love the Lord. Who can who just model to me how the gospel applies to their motherhood and other mums who can empathize in my struggles, who I can be open and honest and raw with, who will not just kind of listen and be like, “Oh, that must be hard.” Or even just good things that I share.

 

They always point me to the Creator, and I find that really helpful. And also mums that are a bit older than me who just have wisdom to offer. I've also found the reason Motherhood Podcast was really, really helpful I think they taught me how to apply the gospel to the everyday moments. And that was a concept that I never really thought through or realized how the gospel can apply to things like

 

Laura

Toilet training.

 

Jani

I was just going to say changing bums every day and how I didn't know that the gospel can apply to me changing another pooey nappy, but it really does.

 

Laura

And I found it really a really helpful framework of thinking. So as I went about to actually or as I'm talking to friends who are struggling with something or were thinking through an issue and stopping and going, alright creation, full redemption and restoration. And how is this how does this work? Where is where does this fit into the gospel?

 

Jani

Totally. And I just I never, I just never thought about it. Being a mum like is like the world just tells you so many different ways of going about things and do's and don'ts and rights and wrongs. And everyone has an opinion that it can just be very overwhelming. But coming down to those basics that you just mentioned has been a really helpful thing for me. And how I, mother,

 

Laura

That's awesome.

How do you encourage the mum who loves Jesus but is feeling distant to Him in this season?

 

Jani

I think I would remind them I think it's Romans 8 that talks about how nothing can separate you from the love of Christ.

 

Laura

Romans 8, 38 and 39, for I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels, not demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.

 

Jani

Yeah, I think thinking about that first it just. It reminds me, and I would encourage the mama who's feeling distant to remember that they're not like once you're redeemed and you're adopted and you're His child and you're saved your sin has been washed away.

 

You're a new creation like though you feel distant you're not like nothing can separate you from Him and so though you feel distant, it doesn't mean that you are. And so whether you've had a good day or a bad day or, you know, whether you've been really self-controlled or you've snapped out your children like what you do and what you don't do doesn't change your standing before the Lord. And so I think for the mumma who's feeling discouraged and distant I think I would just remind them that like you're His. He's like He’s holding onto you and you're His to keep. And so what you do is unchanging your standing before Him.